at the doctor's office

The exam room is warm, but there are no windows to view the falling snow.  I sit on the exam table as the doctor listens to my lungs.  I take a deep breath in and out as instructed.  I focus on staying calm to keep my heart and blood pressure from racing.  I try not to think about what tests I need now at forty-five, or whether the weather outside has worsened.  I leave the room with some sort of clean bill of health, but only time will tell.

 mild days
take a short breather
as snow falls

- Written for dVerse Haibun Monday: Breath

freedom

We are given to the freedom to choose when to become mothers, or when not be a mother.  We can choose when to marry our true love, or when to walk away when it’s over.  We can choose our career path or we can stay at home with our children.  We are given choices, yet so many outside our minds and bodies want to shape or limit that freedom.  Why not let one chose her own path and let her face the consequences, without your judgmental eyes and tongues.  Trust me – she has plenty of her own.

like a bird

soaring towards mountains

the sky sighs

- Written for dVerse Haibun Monday - Complexity of Freedom

One February Night

I was a cold February night in the city.  The sun had set and the stars were coming out to illuminate the piled up snow.  Yet on this night, in a second floor bedroom of an old row house, you and I spent some quality time.  I sat by your beside as we chatted about various things – life, weather, God and regrets.  You even hinted at your past drug use, which I knew about, but allowed you to tell it in your own words.  Holding your pale hand, I took in this quiet moment, for we both knew that time was not on our side.  I could have been somewhere else having fun or at home watching mindless TV.  Instead I was here with you.  Despite the years we spent apart, all the missed birthdays and holidays, there was no gift as valuable as this night spent with you.  For one April spring day, you took your last breath and I was left with only memories.

under winter skiers

twinkling stars whisper secrets

to a humble moon

- Written for dVerse Haibun Monday - The Best Things in Life Are Free, where we are asked to write a haibun poem something free or priceless we have experienced.  I'm not sure why but I wrote about a night where I spent some time with my uncle, who had terminal cancer.  It was the only time we spent totally alone without anyone else around before his demise two months later.  

snow days

This evening I saw a man standing by the road, holding up a sign I could not read in the fading light.  He stood in the bitter cold, the ground covered by the recent snowfall.   As I drove home, I thought about a memory when, as a child, I would play in the snow.  Snow days were always the best.  I would spend my time outdoors trying to build snowman or just snowballs until my finger tingled.  Then I would come inside to warm up, my feet by the heater and hot chocolate in my hand as mom did housework.  A little while later, I would go back outside to play in the beautiful snow until the daylight began to fade.  It seems like that was the only time when I enjoyed the snow.  In later years, it has become more of a nuisance than a joy.  I suppose that man on the side of the road may feel the same way too.  He may have once, as a child, made snow angels in his backyard. But now as he stands in the bitter cold, the snow is just another curse to his destitute state.

on bitter cold days

the sun shines upon white snow

but leaves us no warmth

- Written for dVerse Haibun Monday #28 which challenges us to write a haibun about a childhood memory.  I had already thought about writing a poem about the snow and the destitute man I saw on my home from work (unfortunately not the first time).  Then I saw this prompt, started writing and this is where I landed.  I have heard people say that sometimes you focus on writing one way, but once you stop writing you find yourself in an entirely different place.  I believe this is one of those occasions for me.  

December Birthday

Having a birthday in December and hoping for good weather is always a toss-up – it’s either unseasonably warm or bitterly cold.  I took the day off for my milestone thirty-fifth birthday, with hopes to enjoy a few outings under a sunny sky.  Instead, I sat home watching thick snowflakes stick to everything that stood still.  The roadway and sidewalks became ice patches waiting to trick some poor soul’s feet.  I listened to school closing and traffic delays while sipping oranges inside my apartment cocoon, which now felt like a darken cave.  This is not how a person should spend a birthday – all alone.  Surely God knew how much I despised snow – was I being punished?

winter’s arrival

causes the skies to shed tears

as large white snowflakes

- Written for dVerse Haibun Monday: You say it's your birthday